Software, Hardware, Silverware

The Impossible Task of Covering Apple

A few choice passages from Rob “Dumbass” Enderle’s latest piece “The Impossible Task of Fixing Apple”:

Steve Jobs was an iconic leader but he wasn’t known for sharing and was deathly afraid of someone being hired to replace him. He almost was fired again in the early 2000’s for messing with his stock options and this likely made him even more paranoid.

Steve Jobs, the man behind the Macintosh, the man a desperate Gil Amelio hired back into the company in 1997, and the man who in the past fifteen years alone facilitated the creation of the iMac, the iPod, the iPhone, and the iPad, was fearful of losing his job.

Yes. Of course.

…it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that Jobs didn’t really share much of his secret sauce for success with anyone, including Cook.

Steve Jobs, whose meticulous attention to detail is world renown, refused to let his COO in on how the company was successful. Apple was, as Steve himself professed, his greatest creation, so of course he wouldn’t want it to carry on in his absence.

Rob is, as we all know, a close personal friend of Mr. Tim Cook. Rob was there to console Tim in the times he only needed a shoulder to cry on. Reportedly, Tim went on and on about how Steve was “a big ol’ jerk” and never shared his secret sauce.

[Cook] came from Compaq and there is nothing, other than his time as COO at Apple, which connects his background to a premium brand.


If you don’t fix Apple’s board before Cook is replaced, and unless Apple starts to recover soon he is toast, the next CEO will likely be worse. The screwy thing? This will likely force a replacement of the board but the now less qualified CEO will have a huge vote and likely pack the board with folks that support them.

Tim Cook has to be fired. The board has to be replaced. The next CEO is going to suck, too. Apple is doomed. You’re right, Mr. Enderle, it is impossible to fix Apple. Pay no attention to the quarterly results behind the curtain.

If we want companies like Apple to be around and thrive, somehow we need to find a way to assure the quality of their boards because, if we can’t, they won’t.

It’s up to us to fix Apple. You, me, and Rob Enderle, and all those shareholders who are getting $100 billion in dividend payments over the next two-and-a-half years. Hop to it.