Software, Hardware, Silverware


Grammar lesson: “quote” is not a noun, it is a verb. When you say “quote”, most often you mean ”quotation”. And I ain’t gonna fall prey to that.

“Start with something messy, get to the point, get an editor, and make it good.”

— Michael Lopp

“If ‘other people have experiences incorrectly’ is annoying to you, think how unbearable it must be to have a condescending stranger tell you they hate the way you’re experiencing your life at just the moment you’ve found something you want to remember.”

— Randall Munroe

“What would aliens say when told Earthlings shift clocks twice a year to fool themselves into thinking there’s more sunlight?”

— Neil deGrasse Tyson

“Lather, rinse, repeat, but stop eventually.”

— Paul Kafasis

“Not secure? [Android is] more secure than the iPhone.”

— Eric Schmidt, reportedly drawing laughs from the crowd.

“Well, this is magic.”

— Stephen Hackett, on the Apple TV’s new touch-to-setup feature.

“I just said what I said and it was wrong. Or it was taken wrong. And now it’s all this.”

— John Lennon

“No doubt Jenny McCarthy will soon be on The View speaking out against city sewer systems, septic tanks, and washing your hands.”

— John Moltz, on the return of the Bubonic Plague.

“44 years ago today, a human being first stood on the Moon. No one in their wildest dreams then would have imagined the space program of 2013.”

— Maciej Cegłowski

“All the work I’ve done in my life will be obsolete by the time I’m fifty.”

— Steve Jobs, fifteen years ago, on legacy.

“Most pundits clamoring for Apple to release the next great thing didn’t recognize the prior ones when announced.”

— Tom Reestman

“I’m a 34-year-old NBA center. I’m black. And I’m gay.”

— Jason Collins, the first openly-gay professional American athlete.

“We don’t make movies to make money. We make money to make more movies.”

— Walt Disney

“The game is interactive, violent, and you are literally shooting at people.”

— Nebraska Senator Mike Johanns1, on violent video games.


  1. Republican. ↩︎

“Yes, we like the Yankees. But today we’re all rooting for Boston.”

— Christopher Weyant, in Tuesday’s daily cartoon for The New Yorker.

“If we can convert colors into math, we can do math on colors.”

— Brad Ellis, speaking at Çingleton.

“Apple acquires a company for the amount of profit they make in three hours.”

— MG Siegler, referring to Apple’s purchase of WiFiSLAM.

“If at first you don’t succeed, that’s one data point.”

— Randall Munroe

“We’re outnumbered…we’ve lost the country.”

— Rush Limbaugh

“With all due respect, that’s a bunch of malarkey.”

— Vice President Joe Biden, at the debate on Thursday, to Paul Ryan.

“The thing about fantasy—there are certain things you just don’t do in fantasy. You don’t have sex near unicorns. It’s an ironclad rule. It’s tacky.”

— Jo Rowling

“We believe that ‘we are all in this together’ is a far better philosophy than ‘you are on your own’.”

— Bill Clinton, speaking at the Democratic National Convention.

“We wanted to build something great. There was no reason to look at anything [Samsung] had done.”

— Scott Forstall, in response to a Samsung attorney’s question if he’d ever directed anyone at Apple to copy Samsung’s products.

“Let me be perfectly frank. This is one of my favorite traditions. I relish it so much…who wrote this shit?”

— New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg, speaking at a hot dog eating contest.